Am I Doing this Wrong?

Online Dating No Comments

Earlier this week I had dinner with Justin and Katie. Justin and I were again lamenting being single and the commiserating over the awfulness of online dating. He and I agreed we needed to be able to really meet people, you know, like IN PERSON. We both have brilliant personalities but can’t get the chance to show them off and feel any real chemistry with online dating.

reason I'm singleAnd sooo…..

Tonight my “Summer of Saying Yes and Trying New Things” lead me (and Justin) to my first Singles “mixer” type event.
I’m not sure I have any solid, coherent thoughts on the event, but I need to process it, so here ya go.First, you should know I accidentally marked my sexual preference as “female” at my doctor’s office yesterday. It was a long questionnaire about my health history and I wasn’t paying attention. I have three psych degrees, so I am very aware that Dr. Freud would have a field day with my mistake.
I digress, but with reason, because I left my first singles mixer and only exchanged numbers with one person; a 38 year-old female.
This isn’t going to be a post where I announce a change in my sexual preference. Sorry if you were hoping for that. :p
I left with her number because the ladies in the room (with the exception of Justin) were the only interesting people worth talking to who also seemed to be interested in hearing what I had to say.

surrenderThe ratio of guys to girls was actually quite decent, and that was a surprise. I have no problem saying “hello” and introducing myself. I did this several times but each time failed to hold attention when (from my perspective) a long-legged, more slender person of my gender (I only did that for the rhyme) would walk by the guy with whom I was conversing.

Eventually Justin and I left with our new friend Amy to grab a bite to eat. As we were walked over to another restaurant I learned that Amy and I are practically neighbors (we even use the same road for walking/running), attend the same church, and even graduated from the same high school.
Amy’s story was far more compelling than anyone else I talked to this evening.
Oh, and I would say meeting her came with its own unique “message from God.”

Amy has her own unique story that brought her to a singles event, but when I found out we attended the same church I told her how I was working with some of the church leadership to get a singles outlet of some kind going at our church. She was very excited by that and was looking forward to having a place to “fit in” at our church.

god footsteps

So, even though I feel like this event was a flop as it pertains to changing my relationship status, I feel like it was an affirmation that I am headed in the right direction as it concerns my new involvement with the singles ministry at church.

I’ll take a silver lining wherever I can find it. 🙂

I don’t know if I’m aiming too high and that’s why it seemed that none of the 20 guys there were worth talking to (but I did still talk to them), but I do know I’m happy I tried something new and met a new friend.



*****This post gets an edit, which I rarely do*****

I really thought I would get more credit than I have received from so many comments on the book of faces, text messages, and other media sources.

1) Justin and I didn’t ride together, walk in together, NOR did we even show up at the same time. We were pretty set on not blocking each other’s vibe. We’re aware of how our friendship presents itself, so we knew not to sit together. I think we talked alone twice.

2) Justin will tell you there were really no quality guys there (within my age range or not) even though there was a large number of males. This reinforces my belief that KC is not a good city for single women. There was the 23 year-old who couldn’t escape the Frat house mentality or the 35 year-old Russian guy who interrupted everyone’s conversation with “Hi. I’m ____ and I’m a jerk because I interrupt people’s conversations.” He was right and also only in town for 10 months. I would talk to a guy and when the same 2-3 girls would walk by it was the same routine: Nodding and saying uh-huh while turning their entire body to stare at these girls. ZERO CLASS.

3) These guys weren’t interested in “What do you do? Where are you from?” types of questions. It was a game of who can have more of a presence to block-off the petite blond girl (who was super cute) and her tall brunette friend? These same 2 girls kept getting blocked in by groups of 3 and 4 guys at a time. If only I was 4’11” and blond. Alas, I am a beautiful, 5’7″ curvy brunette…and damn proud of the work it took to be me.

and 4) In Justin’s own words, “Just because two people are single, searching, and bad-ass doesn’t mean they are meant to be a couple.” He and I have a fantastic friendship. It’s fulfilling and empowering as a friendship and doesn’t need to be more, nor do either of us want it to be more. We’ll just continue to be fodder. :p

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