Apparently I Have a Fan Club

Getting Personal (aka a little TMI) 1 Comment

This is my 8th year as a school counselor, and my 7th year in my current position between two schools. This year some of my “babies” will leave and move on to the rest of their lives. My school is K-6, so we have been together 7 years; since they started Kindergarten. They were new to school when I was new to school.

I’m kinda fond of them.

Here’s the deal; this week was supposed to be awful: Red Ribbon Week, Halloween Week, World Series (for us Royals fans here in KCMO), and a Full Moon smack dab in the middle of all that.

Don’t get me wrong, it was a tiring week, yet something totally wacky happened: I survived and thrived.

And that’s a good thing, because Saturday was a rough day. It was a day where I realized I am the common denominator in a lot of my relationship problems (namely my inability to trust my friends). I cried a lot Saturday, but in the midst of it, I kept having these random words of affirmation ringing in my ears because of something unique that happened Friday.

My mom was off work Friday, so I invited her to come to school for a bit to see our Halloween parade. All of our kids and staff dress up, and I thought she would enjoy it. 🙂

She got there early, so I took her around and introduced her to the different kids in my grade levels—and that’s when all the wackiness began.

Each and every staff member I introduced to my mom said kind things.

proudI took her into a 5th grade classroom and asked the kids to wave to my mom. One boy leapt out of his seat and said “I am a huge fan of your daughter. Great job raising her!”

Um, I’ve known this kid since he was in kindergarten, and I don’t think I would have told you he liked me AT ALL.

Another boy jumped up and said “I have to hug you. It’s tradition.” (His family went through rough times and I worked very closely with them over the years, so he hugs me every time he sees me)

Next I took her to see the 6th graders (my babies she’s heard so much about for 7 years) at their Fall party. There were a few parents in there, and one mom, who has a wonderful daughter with whom I’ve worked over the years, said very kind things to my mother about me. I was just so glad my mom got to hear that I turned out alright (even if some days I’m not so sure…haha!).

We headed for the table where the kids were eating pizza and I introduced her to that group. One of my boys stood up, looked at my mom and said “Ms. Hayden’s mom, you should know she is awesome; like the best.” We got a good chuckle out of him calling her “Ms. Hayden’s mom.”

You see, I’m a girl who appreciates being appreciated. Education is often a thankless job in comparison to the load of work and the emotional toll.

For me, the staff members, parents, and kids who said those things were a straight line from God to my heart. He knows that I’ve been struggling lately, and I bet He knew Saturday was going to be rough, so He sent me these little messages.

It’s a difficult thing to admit that I can’t gain control over my self-doubt and inability to trust others. It’s tough to admit that I can’t do this on my own. It sucks to know I am defeating myself with my own thoughts and feelings (stupid feelings).

I’ve reached out for counseling, and hope to get that started soon; and in the meantime I would appreciate your prayers or well-wishes.

Thanks for reading.

Lisa <3

My dad sent me this video once and it made a big difference. Maybe it will help you, too.

  1. Hugs. Your heart is full of compassion and you are such an inspiration to many. Praying for you as you seek direction.

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