Cats will Eat my Body…Probably

Getting Personal (aka a little TMI) 4 Comments

Hello old friends. It’s been a while.

I say “old” because, well, it’s what’s on my mind today. I turned 38 at the end of April 2019. It has caused a little bit of an internal crisis as it relates to my future and being alone. The last several years I have had some experiences that have brought home to me just how different my future may be; and it terrifies me. I’m not being dramatic (as usual). Sometimes I cry (twice today) at the thought that when my parents and brother die I will be alone in the world.


10 years ago, my life took a different path than what I planned. I had a miscarriage and was going through a divorce. Now, it’s been a decade of living in my parent’s home, still single, no kids…and an aging sweet kitty. My incredible and amazing friends are starting or raising their families. I love them and their sweet babies (even the stinkers…maybe I love the stinkers most). My parents and some of my cousins are in the position of having lost their parents and/or caring for their aging parents. 

Sounds just right..

Observing these varying stops on life’s continuum has me really grieving the loss of the life I thought I would have, and trying to come to terms with the fact that I will be alone as I age. I know this doesn’t mean isolated, or even lonely, but I won’t have someone with whom to grow old. I won’t have someone to care for me as my body fails. Who will come visit me when I move myself into an old folks home? 

Worse yet, who will find my body when it’s being gnawed on by all the dogs and cats I adopt from the shelters?

The sharers of so many of my memories and life experiences will be gone.

Usually when I write about my thoughts and feelings I try to have a silver

J.R.R. Tolkien quote poster All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us, trees art, gifts for him, men's art #usquotes

lining or some uplifting tone of hope to end with. I don’t know that I have one today, friends.

I know I am so blessed with amazing family and friends right now. I know I am loved.

I am still sad and scared for being so very alone as the decades pass.

  1. You aren’t alone today, friend.  How are you spending the day?

    Love you. 

    • <3 The usual Sunday stuff, Juju. Church, lunch, now reading my Bible homework for class tomorrow.

  2. Michelle - October 21, 2019

    Hey friend. You’ve got this. I had Luke at 36. I also have a friend who had a set of twin boys at 40. It will happen at the right time. Me on the other hand, will probably be single forever. Hopefully Luke will take care of me when I’m older. My kids are all I’ve got here. 

  3. Haley Altis - October 21, 2019

    Hey, Lisa. I don’t know the right words to say, or if there even are any, but I want you to know that I love you. I can’t solve your problems, and I can’t give you peace of mind, but I will do anything I can to help you. More importantly, God does know the right words, and He knows your struggles completely, and He loves you more than you can fathom. I know that doesn’t help your feeling here and now, but it is important to remember. Also, I will visit you when you’re in an old folks home. You’ll be the funniest old lady there. 🙂

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