As if it Wasn’t Bad Enough that I Smelled not-so-great and Looked Like a Boy….

Deep Thoughts | Point and Laugh No Comments

Fashionable” and “stylish.”

Those are two words I don’t think have ever been used to describe me.

However, I had a realization this week I wanted to share related to those words and, well….ME. It’s one of those staggeringly, stupendously obvious realizations, so forgive me for that.

But first, let’s take a cringe-worthy trip back in time…. (doodly doo doodly doo doodly doo)

cutest cat

In elementary school I wore t-shirts; not just any t-shirts, though. You see, my mom has always worked at Hallmark, so I had every Hallmark t-shirt you can remember….for every holiday:
The Crayola Easter Bunny adorned my body
Maxine’s wrinkly face was no stranger among my clothing piles.
I was the Owner of the World’s Cutest Cat and I proudly proclaimed it on my t-shirt.far side
The Real Reason Dinosaurs became Extinct?? I wore that Far Side cartoon brazenly across my trunk (That would never be allowed in a school nowadays).

As I ventured into middle school those white t-shirts all became pit-stained and were eventually enjoyed a less frequent circulation when plaid flannel shirts came into style (if they weren’t worn underneath to display how (not really) grunge I was). Thank goodness it was in style to tuck our shirts into my button-fly GAP jeans or else everyone would have known I was actually wearing plaid flannel nightgowns quite often.

Once high school came I lost some weight as I began to swim two seasons per year. I remember wearing my dad’s jeans with a rope through the belt loops and a various band t-shirts I stole from my brother (Stone Temple Pilots, Henry Rollins Band, Green Day). At times I would try to dress a bit more like a lady, but the ever-ample lady boulders upon my chest often made appearing dainty a challenge. This was around the time in my life I became accustomed to boob sweat (now commonly referred to among my friends as “Swoobs).

During college I wore Doc Martens and lots of earth-toned sweaters. Earth tones are not very becoming on me. Some of my very fashionable friends tell me I look best in Jewel tones, and they are correct.
(Also they do super fantastic hair, so hit them up at GROOM Salon (816-842-4332) and 5th Street Barber Shop (816-283-8787)

T-shirts and Jeans continued to be my main style of dress until my mid-20s when I started my counseling career.

Over the last few years there have been several remarks about how nicely I dress all the time. I think it even made my friends uncomfortable at times.

You see, when I became suddenly separated then single again after almost 6 years I wanted to look nice so I could find my next husband. I started wearing makeup again after a year and doing my hair most days.

bat tee

About 2 years ago I lost close to 70 pounds. Although I still fought body-image issues, it was exciting (and scary) to buy new clothes.

My best friend, KT, has helped me with picking out new clothes over the last several years, and has really raised my “fashion” up. She has helped me to incorporate patterns and brighter colors. Along with that I have learned that just because I am curvy doesn’t mean I have to hide it, and I tend to embrace it, even when I dress more casually. I have incorporated t-shirts back into my wardrobe. The big difference is that I pay for them and the only statements they make about my personality are the ones I choose (usually nerdy graphics).

Now that you’ve taken a journey through my incredibly boring fashion history, let me tell you why I even told you all of that to begin with.

The realization so staggeringly obvious it may as well have been written on my forehead began with this:
My friend Brandy invited me to an Ugly Sweater Party this weekend.
I accepted because it’s been too long since I’ve seen Brandy and Chris AND it would be a chance to meet some new people….

Ok…and….in that new group of people…perhaps one of them would have a sister whose cousin’s uncle’s aunt’s boss’s mom might know one of the only single guys left in the KC Metro….

And maybe that could work out for me.

If online dating didn’t work, then I might need to try to meet people in real life…who might know people…that know other people…who are single.

Ya got me?

Ok, so I began to wonder what on EARTH to wear to this party because I would want to make a good impression and look appealing.


There’s no ugly sweater cute enough to make a man fall in love with me.

Because it’s not ever gonna be about what I’m wearing.

The thing that has always drawn people to me is my personality (and yes, perhaps it has driven some far far away).

I can’t imagine a guy thinking “I must talk to that girl. Her gray t-shirt with Batman taking a ride on a coin-operated Batmobile is really confidencecompelling me to ask her to bear my children.”

Wait, that t-shirt might actually be that compelling,….bad example. Oops.

Anyway, the point is that I should wear something I like and in which I feel confident, and that confidence may just be perceived as sexy by both the observer and the possessor of said confidence

I’ve already been so happy with my hair, and now my skincare, and now even my sense of style and my shape, that now it’s time to let all of that synergize into some epically sexy confidence.


Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *